Counting Down

 But from how high?

I know the countdown to my retirement (in Ohio) has begun. I'm just unsure how high the starting number is.

Ideally, I will go into the office one day in the next couple of weeks and hand in my notice. I plan to offer to stay two weeks to make sure everyone is comfortable with taking on my old responsibilities. I know I'm leaving the video work in capable (if not more capable) hands. But I have been the sole editor of the company podcast. There will be a learning curve there for whoever takes over.

"That's not my responsibility," I keep reminding myself.

"But the company has been good to me," that nagging voice that is resistant to change, throws in.

"When it was advantageous to them," chirps up the voice that remembers how empowering it felt to march in my first Pride parade.

"You can keep coming up with excuses to put it off," adds my usually quiet voice of reason. "There will always be another I'll just stay to finish this project; or another I hate to leave this all to them deadline. At some point you're going to have to rip that Band-Aid off."

"Change bad," resistant voice calls from the distance.

"Stagnation is death," Pride voice chants loudly.

"Step around the heart of it," Frank Sinatra crescendos in out of nowhere.

"Set a budget," my partner, Jon, advises, bring me back around to the subject of numbers.